Put yourself first

Charity Katotobwe
4 min readAug 23, 2021

You can only progress by putting yourself first.

One of the things that keep coming back to my mind now and again is If you want success or make progress in life. Put yourself first and look out for yourself all the time.

Photo by Apex 360 on Unsplash

No one tells you this kind of stuff. You have to figure it out yourself.

Well, I’m here to tell you that as long as you want to self-actualize and bring your dreams to a reality, You have to always do you and ensure you do what makes you happy; this includes friendships, romantic relations and work.

Never reduce yourself for other people. Respect your employers, supervisors, leaders, yes. However, never deem your light.

If people don’t appreciate you shinning or making meaningful contributions, you are in the wrong place and around the wrong people.

Never be apologetic for who you are and who God created you to be. We live in a world where people put others down for them to look better. Avoid anyone who does this. Ignore nonsense and distance yourself from mediocrity.

If you aspire to be successful in your life and feel content, make sure you are very clear about pursuing your agenda. If you look closely, everyone is propagating their agenda to better themselves, get a promotion, and be the best at what they do.

Therefore, never leave room for you not to move ahead, don’t say let her get the merit; it’s her time. It’s also your time to push forward every day, small steps or strides until you get there.

In tough decisions, choose yourself and not others. Do not teach people you are not important because you are.

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It’s naïve to think if you put others; first, they will remember you and come to your aid when you need them. There are very few people that have a conscience and can do that. Most people have no conscience and go through life hurting whomever they can hurt to get ahead and whoever they can use to propel themselves up.

One thing my inner conscious tells me all the time is, People, don’t stop taking. If anyone think you are an easy target, you will be manipulated and used and hang out to dry in the sun like an old rag.

Let’s get this straight. It’s good to be good and to help. Just remember to put a limit on your giving helping and your availability. Ultimately even where you give, ensure you still have some energy, resources and life left in you. Conserve your energy and resources for yourself too.

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We live in a crude world, where it’s a dog eat dog covered with a smile, and yet underneath, people are skimming to knock you off your chair and get you out. We live in a deceitful world. A smile, a nod of acknowledgement, a pat on your back means absolutely nothing, and that is why you have to always look out for yourself. You are your saviour.

Modern-day living is like constantly living under threat, and you are always in survival mode, and in survival, you have to take care of yourself before you can take care of others. Just because you help, someone is not reciprocal.

In a plane before take-off, an air steward tells you what to do in case of an emergency. Pull your oxygen mask on first before you assist your child or person next to you. Ever wondered why they say that? I think it’s pretty simple. Help yourself first. Look out for yourself first before you can help other people. Otherwise, you might help everyone around you and end up in trouble or, worse still, end up dead. Then what have you achieved? Nothing!!

Photo by Sir Manuel on Unsplash

The same applies to marriages. You find a woman who did everything for her husband and children, including giving up her own goals and career, being divorced, miserable and being blamed by the children for not bettering herself and her life.

For me, I choose myself first.

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Charity Katotobwe

Chartered Accountant, MBA holder.live in South Africa. Executive Director of Food & Nutrition Foundation, Business & Management Consultant.